4 posts from May 2007

Finally got ahold of someone at the hospital about volunteering. I was worried, because on their website it sounded like the volunteers barely got to do anything except very, very minute silly things. It made the impression of being along the lines of "Hey, I think we ran out of styrofoam cups by the coffee maker. Will you replace them?" However, when I called I mentioned I was pre-med and she asked me if I wanted to volunteer or shadow, which didn't really seem too different to me, but apparently they set you up with a doctor in the area you want to go into. So now my problem is: what kind of doctor would I want to shadow? (and will I be allowed to have the all-important patient care experience?) If I go into surgery would I faint? Would I be bored in a family clinic? Would the ER freak me out? I sort of assumed the whole idea behind the experience thing was that you glean what you'd like to go into by weeding out what doesn't exactly capture your interest. I have no frame of reference whatsoever. I haven't even seen that many doctors in my life. (3 visits in eight years?) I've never undergone surgery, so I don't even know how that is in real life. I don't want to be a pediatrician, I'm pretty sure, but I can't tell.

Every field has advantages and setbacks. My real problem is that I want to know everything, and medicine is becoming more and more specialized. And I'm far from thinking that that's a bad thing, I'd rather see a doctor trained in a specific field than one who knows a little bit about everything, but I can't even decide a general area of the ballpark I want to swing for. (..baseball refrences?) I mean peds would be really interesting, but it's hard enough to see regular sick people, let alone children. I don't know if I'm talented enough for surgery. I thought I wanted to be in IM but when I think about it, I kind of don't. I'll probably be interested in radiology one day, but today is not that day. Neurology seems great, but then again I kind of want to work with.. you know, bodies. (Could this make any less sense?)

But in any case, I feel like just calling them lifted a weight from my shoulders. I've been so freaked out and overwhelmed lately, I don't even know where to start. I mean this college I want to apply for seems huge, and you barely even had to apply for the college I'm in now. I feel so lost. All at once I feel like nothing can happen fast enough and that it's already going too fast for me to stand. Everything is simultaneously getting easier and harder. I just hope I can think of something over the weekend when they ask who I want to shadow. Now all I have to do is apply for school, apply for jobs, and apply myself to studying.

I've recently developed an enjoyment of Scrubs. (I guess I just didn't get it before.)

Anyway, reading medical blogs on medscape and etc. makes me want to have my own record of my pre-medical journey (short or long as it may be..). But as a pre-med, nothing really interesting happens to you. I can't say I had to cut someone open and was terrified or I cried when I realized someone I was observing was dying. A pre-med blog would sound like this:

"oh man, I stayed up all night studying Organic Chemistry."

And it would only go downhill from there. I'm only beginning to realize that studying and test drama will take up the bulk of my next couple of years. I mean, I knew it in that brain way, but I didn't know it in that test-your-will-heart way. Not to make as though I am deterred. I spent Friday evening alone at home while my boyfriend played in a bar. I studied an MCAT biology book. I wasn't upset then, nor am I now. (I'm being groomed to lack proper social life and skills - for my survival over the next few years). There are times when I feel really frustrated knowing that I can't just glide by, drink beer and barely make it. Along with those antisocial studyholic tendencies, I seem to be developing a perfectionist attitude, and I know that settling for beer over grades will never make me happy.

 I just can't really get a grip on how fast things are going, and I'm a little scared at how much faster they'll go, because from all outward appearances, things are going relatively slow for me. I'll volunteer this summer and do research, I'll go to school in the fall in a place way harder, I'll already be a sophomore. That means I'm going to have to cram in as much science as soon as possible. And it's never too early to study for MCATs right?? (or at least refresh what you've forgotten along the way..) I just feel as though I live my life on the verge, and kind of like this is all a cute joke that people expect me to snap out of. But I'll declare it now: I'm not almost a pre-medical student. I am one. And up until now, even that has been a big deal. Even that has made me the butt of jokes and rudeness. I've had a long time to think about it, and I have longer to think about it, but I'm almost certain of the answer.

The best pre-medical news I have is that I gave blood last week and needles no longer make me irrationally nervous. At least that's something?

What was your favorite TV season finale this year? 
Submitted by Kristine.

My favorite season finale this year was the only one I really watched: Reno 911! All of it was brilliant: the wedding, the kilts ("you are the bridesmaids."), the cake push, the two firemen, and Garcia. My beloved, beloved Garcia. By the halfway mark of the show I'd pretty much called the ending, but it was still hilarious to see it. After the movie's unexpected mediocrity and the whole season being hit-or-miss, the finale really set everything off. I love how all of their season finales are parodies of 'dramatic' sweeps ploys. Last year's was good.. but this one was really good.

I wish I'd watched The Office. I love that show, but always seem to forget to keep up with it (probably because I never watch the major networks).

Edit: I forgot I'd watched Top Designer this year too. That was a really good finale. Based on the last episode I think Carissa should've won (that bed was so sweet), but for overall season then Matt was definitely the right choice.

Here I am!